was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
