I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize