I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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