Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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