I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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