Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
