And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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