Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
