I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
