Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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