I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
