then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
