she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
