can u get pink eye on your cock?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize
