YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We talked him into tasing himself.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
