Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
