from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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