bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize