so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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