Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
