Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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