I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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