I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
