He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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