I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
