will power is for people who don't want to get laid
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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