Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
