My hand turned me down
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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