Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize