Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
They are going to name an STD after you.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
