D3 body, D1 cock
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
