Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
