What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
