i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
