Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
