Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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