Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
