Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
