dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
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