shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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