I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
