When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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