I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
