We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
