come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
