Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I hate all girls vehemently.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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