SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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