I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
