he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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