I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
