ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
What a dumb baby whore.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
