You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
