I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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