At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
