my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
