All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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