You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Randomize