So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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