That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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