I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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