He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize