my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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