ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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