i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
