i just wanna soil my oats bro
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
