...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
