Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
